When I was 10 years old, I decided I wanted to be a writer. How I came to that decision is an interesting story that I'm about to share...
When I was in the 5th grade, I had an arch nemesis named Angela. Now I realize you are probably thinking the 5th grade is far too early in life to have an arch nemesis, but Angela actually started as my arch nemesis in the 3rd grade. She was the blond-haired, blue eyed girl with the perky nose, perfect curls, and cute ribbons, while I was the smarty-pants tomboy, with the dark curls, stubborn will, and refusal to color-coordinate my clothes. We clashed immediately.
Mr. Havens was our 5th grade teacher. In Mr. Haven's class, Angela and I competed on every possible level. I was the best when it came to scholastics and sports, while she was the best when it came to boys. It's probably because puberty gave her boobies, while it gave me an extra 4 inches and a pudgy middle section that no amount of sports (and I played a lot of them) seemed to diminish. I was the master of the tetherball, baseball, and basketball, while she was the master of girly giggles and bright pink lip gloss.
One day Angela was telling Mr. Havens about a short story she had been working on, and Mr. Havens encouraged her to bring it to class. If he liked it, she could read it to the class. Of course I couldn't be out-done so I let Mr. Havens know I had been working on a short story as well. He encouraged me equally. The problem was I hadn't been working on a short story. Nope. This Pixie didn't do any creative writing. But, I knew I couldn't allow Angela to get ahead of me, so I ran home and set about writing a short story.
The short story took me several hours, but it turned into a murder mystery involving all my classmates. I was quite proud of the final product - mostly because I wrote singled spaced and on both the front and back of the college-rule paper. But I went back to school the next day and smugly presented it to Mr. Havens, feeling quite victorious when I found out Angela had written nothing. Interestingly enough, Mr. Havens liked it so after our lunch recess (and my obvious victory on the tetherball court), he allowed me to read it to the class. It was a complete and total success. I was the Agatha Christie of Grantham Elementary School. My literary career was born - as was my desire to become a writer.
Each week I was allowed to read a new short story to the class - always a murder mystery and always with my classmates as the characters. It had gotten to the point where I became a mini celebrity amongst my classmates. When I was at the store with Naughty Pixie and Wicked Pixie and ran into classmates and their parents, the classmates would immediately introduce me as "the girl who writes those cool stories."
Fast forward to age 25. I have written 11 books (we're talking books that are no less than 300 pages in length - Yes, I am bragging.), countless short stories, and even more poems. Only a few short stories and poems have been published. While I had short careers as a journalist, publicity writer, and copy writer, I've now stopped the pursuit to become a professional writer, and I have taken on more "practical" jobs to help pay the bills and support the Pixie Household. However, in the back of my mind - I never stopped wanting to be a writer. But I have stopped writing - unless you count business reports but those don't really count (even though I do look at it as creative writing. *wink* *wink*).
Fast forward to today. I'm now sitting at my laptop with two file folders brimming with notes. I have two book projects I want to have finished by April. I have a little written for one book and a little more written for the other. However, I'm just stuck. My laptop screen in blank, and the cursor is flashing at me as if to taunt me. What is this writing paralysis? Fear? Stupidity? Or have I simply forgotten how to write (obviously not, since I'm writing this blog post)?
It's true these books are a different kind of writing. They are non-fiction business books, and not the creative writing that I love so dearly. But they are on topics I know extremely well. They are topics many would say I'm an "expert" on (though I hate the word "expert"), but I cannot seem to muster the necessary brain cells to proceed further. Instead, my brain cells seem to have gone into over-drive when it comes to finding all the necessary distractions to keep me from what I need to do. Blast!
At this moment... At this pivotal tick of the clock... I desperately wish Angela was here - telling me about the two non-fiction books she's writing. Ho-hum...
Happy Monday, Pixie Pals.
For me, it's always much harder to write on technical things than it is to let my heart lead the way. It seems this must be happening for you, too.
ReplyDeleteBut you are an expert, so I know you will find a way... :-)
Oh how I wish I had a teacher encourage me when I expressed I wanted to be a writer.
ReplyDeleteInstead I had a high school teacher tell me to give up the dream because my writing was horrible!
Maybe you can try to integrate your creative writing skills into the business books.
Send them to be for evaluation and critique. I'll take a week or two and make red ink comments then send it back along with a fire for your booty :-) Also: Medora's Champion needs exposure to the world again.
ReplyDelete@Phoenix... I had a Lit professor tell me I should give up on being a writer. He told me I had about as much creativity in my entire body as he had in his little pinky. Instead, he told me I should become an attorney because I like to argue and prove people wrong. My response to him wasn't to argue or try to prove him wrong but to simply ask, "And what have you published lately?"
ReplyDeleteI believe there are always those people who will squash dreams with their attitude and words. I suppose they are our "tests."
I will definitely relook at trying to inject some creative writing into the non-fiction. The problem is finding the right balance to ensure they don't flip over to the fiction category. :)
@R.L. Hahaha! I can always count on you!
ReplyDeletePS. I've been working on Medora's Champion - editing the heck out of it. I've also got a new one... "The Orb." :)